A Hetalian Midsummer
by Bri Nara
Summary: 21st century parody of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. Pairings: GerIta, Spamano, USUK, and AustriaxPiano. Warning: Romano's language, sexual themes, and the utter crack added to a Shakespeare classic.
1. Act I

**United States of Hetalia**

_Me: This was a request of Nonameswereavailable_**. **_A parody of Midsummer Nights Dream with Hetalia characters. (Pulls out a stringed-instrument-thingy) Nara-Brand Crack-style._

_England: You're about to do **so **many things that would get you slapped by Shakespeare. By the way, that's a nice harp._

_Me: Lyre._

_England: No, honestly that's- _

_Me: (Bursts out laughing)_

_England: (Deadpan) Oh you were just **dying **to say that, weren't you? Did you pull it out **just** to say that pun?_

_Me: Well, DUH._

_England: Bri does not own Hetalia, Japan does. She doesn't own Midsummer Nights Dream either because **I **do._

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><p>"Can you <em>believe <em>we're getting _married_, Artie? I mean, can you just _believe _it?" the American rambled.

"Of course I can by now! You've been ranting on about it for _days_!" his British fiance replied.

Alfred F. Jones was the Mayor of New York City, and was about to get married to Arthur Kirkland. Alfred's secretary/friend Toris was quietly walking behind him as the two men talked.

"We'll have food and awesome entertainment and fun people!"

"That's nice, luv..." Arthur said as he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Toris!"

The brown-haired man stiffened a bit. "Y-Yes, sir?"

"Dude, take it easy. I asked you to organize my wedding as a friend, not your boss. Now, did you book the entertainment?"

"Yes. Some friends of mine are in an acting troupe and they said they're willing to do it for free."

"Sweet! Are they good?" Alfred looked at Toris with excited and hopeful eyes.

"U-Uh..." Toris tried not to remember the time Ivan ran away in the middle of Romeo and Juliet because Natalia got too into it. Or the time Hamlet was groping everyone on stage. Or the time Raivis broke down crying in the middle of Twelfth Night. And _especially _not the time they got kicked out of Broadway. But Ivan had a pipe. And the strength to kick a certain wedding planner's ass. "O-Of course they are... Um, excuse me for a moment..." Toris hurried out of Central Park as fast as possible.

Toris left about two seconds before Julius, Lovino, Antonio, and Ludwig arrived to the small pavilion in Central Park.

"Aw~! Look how happy he looks!" Julius cooed.

"Please! Nonno! Don't do that s_ in public!" the younger Italian man yelled.

"Oh! 'Sup guys?" America asked.

"Look." Middle-Aged man put an arm around a blushing Lovino. "Here's my grandson, Lovino. Isn't he cuuuute~?"

"Very." Antonio agreed.

"Get off!"

He gestured to the German on his left. "Now here's Ludwig. Tall, strong, and allowed to marry my little Lovi." Then he gestured to the Spaniard on his right. "Here's Antonio. Sexy, Spanish, and he's already _interchanged tokens of love _with Lovi, if you know what I mean." The Italian wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

"Ew..."

"Too much information, dude..."

"WE DID NOT!" But Lovino was as red as a tomato.

"Anyways, Lovi's supposed to marry Ludwig. But you can obviously see that he prefers Antonio-"

"I DO NOT!"

"Oh, so you'll marry Ludwig then?"

"DAMMIT, NONNO, WHAT THE HELL? THERE'S NO WAY I'M MARRYING THAT POTATO-BASTARD!"

"But why not~?"

Lovino walked up to Ludwig and started pointing out his many 'flaws'. "He's too muscle-y, he's stupid, he'll make _me _do all the damn housework, and... I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HIM, GODDAMMIT!"

His grandfather leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Listen, I know you don't like the guy, but his grandfather, Abelard , is still mad at me for leaving him at the altar 'bout 25 years ago."

"Well you _were _kind of a dick."everyone there said.

Julius shrugged in a way that said 'I know.'

"But why the hell do _I _have to marry the potato-bastard because of _your_ screw-up!"

"Cause if not, his grandfather will kick my ass~."

"_You _marry him then!"

"No thanks. There's this thing called pedophilia-"

"Make Feliciano marry him!"

"But you're the oldest child. So it has to be you."

"I still refuse to marry him, dammit!"

Julius sighed and looked at Alfred. "I don't have a choice then. Al, any way to ban tomatoes from New York City?"

Lovino's eyes widened. "You wouldn't..."

"Sadly, I would... Come on." The elder Italian, American, Brit, and German walked away.

Antonio frowned at the miserable look on his little tomato's face. "Lovi? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to marry him! I would prefer a stupid cheery bastard like you!"

"Thanks... I think..."

"By the way," Lovino looked out to a bush behind him, "you can come out now, Feliciano."

Antonio raised his eyebrows as he watched a smaller Italian emerge from the bushes.

"But Fratello! _I _like Ludwig! How come you get to marry him?"

"You can keep him! It's stupid Nonno's fault!" Romano crossed his arms. "I won't eat, sleep, or cuss until I get to be with Antonio!"

Antonio smiled and blushed. "R-Really, Lovi?"

Lovino's face turned red as a tomato. "Hell no! I need to do those things to live long enough to be with you, dammit!"

"Ve~. When will I get to have my love?"

Meanwhile with the '_Fabulous_ Actor Troupe'

"Everyone is here, da?"

"Let's take roll just in case, non?"

Ivan pulled out a sheet of paper with the names of his troupe.

"B-But sir, what will we perform?" Eduard asked.

Ivan pulled out a couple of scripts. "I took these when we got kicked out of Heracles' house. It's called 'Pyramus and Thisbe.'"

"How can you even pronounce that?" Matthew sighed.

"I will announce your roles. Francis, you get to be Pyramus."

The Frenchman tilted his head to the side. "Do I get to be a lover?"

"Da."

Francis grinned in a way that made Raivis hide behind Eduard. "Ohonhonhon~! I will do my best. I will move the audience to tears~!"

"Natalia-"

"Yes, brother?" The blonde woman instantly clung to Ivan's arm as he said her name.

"You be Thisbe."

"What does Thisbe get to do?"

"She gets to be the one Pyramus loves."

She gave Ivan a blank look. "Why can't you be Pyramus then, brother?"

Because I'm too young to die. "Because Francis is better at acting like a romantic than I am."

"Who said this was acting?" Francis joked.

"Matthew..." Ivan continued with his list.

"Who?" everyone else asked.

The blonde Canadian boy with wavy boy hair sighed. "Me. Matthew."

"You have to be Thisbe's mother."

"Does that mean-?"

"Yes, Matvey will be in a dress once again."

"Aww." 'How come _I'm _always stuck in a dress?'

"Eduard shall be the father." The Canadian and Estonian inched away from each other. "And Raivis will be the *coughcowardlycough* lion." Raivis trembled.

"Mon ami, can't I just do _all _the roles?" Francis whined.

"... The show needs 5 people and one of you is bad enough, comrade."

"Fair enough."

"Now go practice your lines."

Raivis looked at his one line. "Rawr."

**Here be-eth thine initial chapter, peoples. ^_^**

**England: (Facepalm) This cannot end well.**

**Me: At least I'm trying. And if I fail, I may as well fail epically.**

**England: Review.  
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	2. Act II

_I believe it's obvious who the four lovers are (even if I've never seen/studied the play) Spain is Lysander, Germany is Demetrius, Romano is Hermia, and Italy is Helena. I won't give up on this! Cuz it should only take 5 chapters to do Midsummer..._

_Anyways! I don't own Hetalia nor A Midsummer Night's Dream. If I did... let's just say it would make ABSOLUTELY no sense._

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><p>"Roderich! Please!" The Hungarian-fairy reached out to grab the little blonde boy in the Aristocrat-fairy's arms.<p>

"No!" He held the boy away from her.

"But Roderich!"

"No! You are _not _playing dress up with him, Elizabeta!"

Elizabeta trailed after the other fairy. Roderich kept his apprentice as far away from Elizabeta as possible without dropping him. They had been arguing like this all day. Elizabeta wanted to dress up the grouchy blonde boy for Alfred and Arthur's wedding. Roderich, knowing how far Elizabeta usually went with things, refused to let her touch him. Child in question was drawing on a sketch pad, trying to perfect the art of drawing a pink bunny.

"Just one dress?"

"Does he _look _like a girl to you?"

"With a bit of make-up and a frilly pink sun-dress..."

"Elizabeta!"

"Fine..."

The Austrian fairy left with the boy, who was now trying to drawing a maid. Elizabeta just crossed her arms and summoned her backup plan.

"GILBERT!"

Suddenly an albino, Prussian, fairy fell from the tree behind her. He got up and rubbed the developing bruise on his head.

"Damn, you _really _need a better way to call me, Lizzy..."

"Shut up! And don't call me Lizzy! I actually have a job for you!"

The Prussian frowned. "Does it involve yaoi pictures?"

"No."

"Does it involve a frying pan?"

"No, Gilbert..."

"Does it involve Roddy?"

"Yes."

"What do you want?" Gilbert crossed his arms.

"Go to the first bush by the river on the left, there's some magic pollen stuff in a bag."

"You're _finally _gonna use it on Roddy to make him fall in love with you?"

Blush. "No! It's to distract him while I play dress-up with the kid!" She pulled out her frying pan. "So get going!"

Gilbert scrambled off before he could feel the wrath of a kitchen utensil. That thing hurts like hell, man.

That's when Ludwig came storming over with Feliciano right behind him. Feliciano looked on the verge of tears. Elizabeta jumped into some nearby bushes.

"Ve~! Ludwig! Let's run away together! Fratello doesn't want to marry you... but I do, Ludwig! Please! Ludwig, let's be together-"

"Stop it, Feliciano. I'm supposed to marry Lovino. It's over."

"B-But Ludwig!" The German man just left. "Ludwig..." Feliciano walked back, with his face in his hands. "Ve..."

"OMG, that two-timing jerk!" Elizabeta hissed despite not knowing what the hell was going on.

Gilbert had _just _returned with the magic love-pollen. "Uh... what are you doing in the bushes?"

"Nevermind that! There's been a change of plan! I need you to use the pollen on someone else after you're done with Roderich."

"Who?"

"Tall, handsome, and a total idiot for making that boy cry!" Elizabeta yelled.

"...O...K..." Note to self: Get a sane boss.

Later...

Roderich was in the forest. Playing violin. Despite the fact that he prefers piano.

... This forest needs a piano, goddammit.

"Finally. Some time alone. Away from Elizabeta and that foolish Gil-" BLAM. He was out before he knew what hit him.

Gilbert smirked over the KO'd fairy with a big-ass tree branch. "You have _no _idea how long I've wanted to do that." Then he sprinkled the pollen into Roderich's eyes.

That's when Antonio and Lovino came strolling in. Both completely oblivious to the knocked out Austrian fairy on the ground and the albino Prussian fairy standing over him.

Lovino let out a yawn. "I'm sleepy, bastard!"

"It should be about siesta time anyways." Antonio sat by a tree. "Come on, Lovi."

"Fine."

So the Spaniard and Italian fell asleep the moment they rested their heads. Lovino's head was on Antonio's shoulder and he was cuddling against his 'tomato-bastard'. Antonio was holding one of Lovino's hands.

And Gilbert took a picture. For Elizabeta. You know... just in case she was mad or something.

"Ok... let's see here..." Gilbert said as he examined Antonio. "Tall... handsome... and..." Gilbert crouched down to look at the sleeping Spaniard's face. "Hey, pal, are you an idiot?"

"Zzz... si, su Majestad... he _is _a funny churro... Zzz"

"... I'll take that as a yes." Gilbert sprinkled some pollen into Antonio's eyes.

That's when Ludwig and Feliciano walked in. "Stop following me, Feli!" He stormed off. The little Italian stayed because he was _tired._

"Ve~? Fratello? Toni? What are you doing? Siesta doesn't start for another... one... two... sixteen hours!" Feliciano shook Antonio.

Antonio opened his eyes to see an angel. A brunette, Italian angel... who wasn't his Lovi... wait... who was Lovi again? Aw, who cares. This kid is _cute._

Antonio smiled. A smexy Spaniard smile. "Hoooola, Feli~."

The young Italian was surprised. Why was Toni smiling like that? He usually used that smile for Fratello.

"Uh... Toni?"

"Si, Felicito?"

Felicito? "Are you okay...?"

"Of course, mi tomate."

Tomate? Isn't that Fratello's pet-name... Ooooh. OH HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE!

"Um... Lovino's _there _you know."

"Who's Lovino? All I see is you."

"N-N-NONNO! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH TONI! VE!" Feliciano scrambled off.

"Espera, mi amor!" Antonio got up and chased Feli. Ignoring the fact that he caused Lovino to fall flat on his face.

"OW! WHAT THE F_? ANTONIO! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, BASTARD?"

**Me: I'm sorry this took so long. Tests are hell. X_X**

**Hungary: (Fangirling over the Spamano pic)**

**Prussia: I make a pretty awesome fairy.**

**HRE: (Continues drawing)**

**Austria: Review. Then she might give me a piano.**

**Me: In Central Park?**

**Austria: It could happen.  
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	3. Act III

_Sorry for the delay. Sorry sorry sorry. Only time to write between homework and sacrificing lunch. ;,,;_

_France: Cette petite fille does not own Hetalia. Nor A Midsummer Nights Dream. Thank god, I don't like being the Buttmonkey of this story.  
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><p>"Um... Ivan?" Francis asked as he looked over his script.<p>

"Da?" Ivan put down the wooden flats he was building.

"Yes, um, why does the script say I _die?_"

Ivan smiled and looked away. Crap, Francis actually read his script for once. "Nooothing~."

"This is a _comedy, _Ivan. Why does the script say I die? With a sword? Girls don't like swords, mon ami~!" Francis whined.

"No reason, comrade~."

"Then why did you give me a _real _sword to do this with?" Francis held up the shiny, so-pointy-you-get-a-cut-by-looking-at-it rapier.

"..." Dammit, he noticed. No revenge for the Noodle Incident in Wyoming.

"Can't we rewrite the script?"

"What will you write?"

"'Francis Bonnefoy does not die in this.'"

"You just wanna break the fourth wall of the play and flirt with the ladies right?" Eduard sighed.

"But of course, mon ami~!" Francis said with a grin.

Somewhere behind them, Gilbert facepalmed. 'Of all the not-awesome acting groups I've seen in my life, this is the most not-awesome.' he thought. 'Especially that French guy. He's making an ass of himself. Heh... ass...' Gilbert looked from Roderich on the ground to Francis until he got an awesome plan. 'Roddy's gonna be _so _pissed off for this later, but it's worth it.'

Francis suddenly got grabbed and pulled into the bushes. Not that any of his colleagues noticed. And he got some powdery stuff thrown onto him.

'Ah, mon dieu. That felt weird... Why does everything look bigger and why the hell can't I feel my toes?'

That was because Gilbert turned Francis into a... keyboard. A blue, white, and red keyboard. That talks. If Francis had eyes, he'd be glaring up at the sky.

"WHAT THE HELL, MADEMOISELLE AUTHOR? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A _DONKEY_! DONKEY! READ YOUR SCRIPT!"

... Then read yours.

"...Touche."

Gilbert proceeded to throw Francis out to open view. Roddy needed to _see _to fall in love.

"W-Where did F-F-Francis go?" Raivis asked.

"I'm right here." said the magic keyboard on the ground.

Everyone stared at it for about 10 seconds before panicking.

"H-HOLY CRAP! A TALKING PIANO!"

"I'm not a piano! C'est moi, Francis!"

"..."

"OH MY GOD, FRANCIS DIED AND NOW HE'S HAUNTING THE KEYBOARD!"

"R-R-R-RUUUUN!"

And so, the acting troupe ran away screaming like little girls. Especially Raivis.

"Well this sucks. Since this stupid story made me a keyboard, I might as well make music." And Francis proceeded to play the French national anthem.

It was then that Roderich woke up. To the sound of music. He looked up and saw a beautiful piano-keyboard shining in the moonlight.

And he squee'd and glomped the keyboard.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"A piano! In _my _forest! _FINALLY!_" Roderich squee'd as he continued hugging the piece of plastic.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHY AM I BEING HUGGED BY _THIS _GUY! I _HATE _HIM, REMEMBER, MADEMOISELLE AUTHOR?"

Hey, I'm just following my script.

"Well what now then?" the French piano hissed at the sky, Roderich not noticing.

Let's see... According to Wikipedia... 'Titania is awakened by Bottom's singing and immediately falls in love with him. She lavishes him with attention,' ... Oh my... 'and presumably makes love to him.'

"WHAT?"

Roderich put Francis on the ground and stretched his fingers. The smile on the Austrian-fairy's face was honestly scaring the crap out of Francis.

"Let's see if I remember Mozart..."

"OH SACRE BLEU!"

Later...

"I wonder if Roderich woke up yet..." Elizabeta said as she added yet another bow to the grouchy blonde kid's hair.

"Hey, Lizzy!" Gilbert walked out the bush and saw how the poor blonde boy was forced into a frilly-ass yellow dress with at least 10 bows in his hair.

"Did it work?"

"Let's just say Roddy's making sweet music at the moment."

Elizabeta grinned, her rated M mind at work. "And the other guy?"

"I handled it."

That's when Lovino and Ludwig came in. Lovino was crying. And as usual, nobody noticed the albino fairy, the Hungarian fairy, and the little boy in a sparkly, frilly, pink dress.

"What the f_ have you done to Antonio, you brother-f_ing potato-bastard?"

"What are you talking about?"

"He's been acting weird all night! Give back the old Toni, bastard!"

"If you mar-"

"ENOUGH WITH THE F_ING MARRIAGE S_! I'M FINDING ANTONIO!"

Ludwig facepalmed. "He's such a headache. I need to rest." Ludwig sat against the tree and fell asleep.

Elizabeta smacked Gilbert upside the head with a frying pan.

"OW!"

"I thought you said you handled it!"

"I did!"

"It was the right uke but wrong seme! I was ordering you to put the spell on _that _guy!" Elizabeta pointed to the German on the ground.

"Ok ok, fine!" Gilbert sprinkled some of the magic-love-pollen into Ludwig's eyes. "Happy now?"

"Very." Elizabeta heard the sound of Feliciano arriving with Antonio. "Quick! Get out of here before you screw this up!"

Elizabeta pushed Gilbert out of there. Feliciano came in with Antonio trailing behind him.

"Why do you think I'm faking, Felicito? I love you~!"

"B-But you loved Fratello before! You can't just dump my fratello and go after me! It's wrong! Besides, I like Ludwig!"

"But Ludwig likes Lovino, not you."

That was when Ludwig woke up. He saw an angel... an Italian angel with a haircurl... his Feliciano... But why was his love crying? And who was that with Feliciano? Antonio? Antonio must have made his Feli cry! That bastard!

"Feli! What's wrong?" Ludwig stood up.

"L-Ludwig...?"

Brown eyes... flooded with tears... looking into Ludwig's...

Antonio's going _down._

"YOU MADE MY FELI CRY!"

"_YOUR _FELI? HE'S MINE!"

Then Ludwig and Antonio started... it can't _really _be described as a fight. There was a cartoon fight-cloud involved, so it wasn't a fight.

Then Lovino walked in on this.

"FELICIANO, YOU MAN-STEALING SON OF A BITCH!"

"Ve~? But she was your mom too-" He got cut off by Lovino starting a cat-fight. No, uke-fight. Yeah, let's go with that.

Once the two fight-clouds were out of sight, Elizabeta death-glared at Gilbert.

"You f_ed up big time."

"I know."

"Go fix it. _Now._"

"Fine." Gilbert picked up the big tree-branch that was used to knock out Roderich.

Antonio came out of the bushes looking for the German-bastard that wanted his Felicito. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, LUDWIG?"

"Over here!"

"... You don't sound like Ludwig."

"Shut up, we have churros."

"YAY! CHURROS! :D" And Antonio went behind the tree to get his delicious, almost-as-sweet-as-Feliciano, churro-

WHAM.

And then Ludwig came out of the bushes to hunt down and kick the ass of the tomato-bastard that made his Feli cry. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, ANTONIO?"

Gilbert put on his best Spanish accent. "Over here!"

"... You don't sound like Antonio."

Gilbert held out the unconscious Spaniard. "Just get your ass over here!"

Ludwig marched behind the tree to beat the ever-loving crap of out of Antoni-

WHAM.

Feliciano scrambled out to look for his two friends who seemed to have lost their freakin' minds tonight. "Luwig? Toni? Fratello? Where are you?"

Gilbert, not wanting to injure such a cute kid, lightly tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey kid-"

Feliciano turned around, and his eyes widened. And did the natural thing to do when you see a random pale figure _right _behind you. "VE! A GHOST! AAH!" And fainted.

Gilbert picked up a stick and poked the Italian to see if he would wake up.

"Sure, I guess that works."

Lovino saw his brother on the ground and the Prussian over him. "Hey! What the f_ did you do to my stupid fratello? _I _was supposed to kick his ass, dammit! You wake him up so I can beat the sh-" WHAM.

Gilbert held up the tree-branch-of-pwnsome-awesomeness. "Ok, _he _may be cute, but _you're _just annoying, kid." Gilbert dragged all the lovers into the clearing so they can sit across from whoever the hell they were supposed to end up with.

Gilbert walked up to Antonio. "On the ground, sleep sound... blah blah blah... here's the remedy, from the awesome me." Gilbert pulled out a watergun and squirted the Spaniard.

"Man, what a night... I better get a raise for this, dammit..."

**Me: Here's the chappie!**

**France: (Death-glaring) I will _never _be able to hear Mozart _ever _again.**

**Me: I was kidding about that part, France! ^_^ (Mostly.)**

**Austria: AustriaxPiano OTP forever.**

**Hungary: (Facepalm)**

**France: Review~.**


	4. Act IV

_Hi peoples~! (waves) I've been given a bit of time to type on **my **laptop, so... (types like freakin' wind)_

_btw, I'm making this story with Wikipedia (points at tab), and an online copy of the original (points at other tab) so I could more or less follow the order of events. Other than that, I'm... abridging this? Yeah. But it's a pity I never heard/seen the original Midsummer Nights Dream. D:_

_I don't own Hetalia. Nor do I own A Midsummer Nights Dream. Because I am doing several things that would get me bitch-slapped by Shakespeare._

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><p>The four lovers were sleeping on the ground of the forest.<p>

But Roderich didn't notice. Roderich was playing his piano. Piano who was dead-tired. Actually, both were tired.

Which was why the second Roderich removed his hand from the keyboard, the keyboard yelled "THAT IS IT, MON AMI!" And Francis started playing 'Rock-a-Bye Baby'_. _The Austrian passed out after about ten seconds.

"Ha! He's finally asleep! Haha!" Then Francis turned off from exhaustion.

Gilbert and Elizabeta came in and saw Roderich on the floor.

"Aw~! He's always so cute when he sleeps~!" Elizabeta cooed.

"'Always'?" Gilbert asked with a raised eyebrow.

"... Shut up and cure him."

Gilbert pulled out a water-gun and squirted Roddy in the face.

"Uh... where have you been keeping that water-gun?"

"I'll never tell."

Elizabeta noticed the blue, white, and red piano beside her ex. Snoring.

"Uh...?"

"Kesese~... Yeah, that's sorta my fault."

Roderich's eyes fluttered open. "Elizabeta? What happened? I dreamed there was actually a piano in this forest for once." Roderich looked at Francis. "Oh my god, there _is _a piano in this forest for once... but what tacky colors."

"Yeah, I'll fix him now." Gilbert threw powder onto the keyboard and it turned back into a snoring Frenchman.

"... I think the piano was an improvement."

"Ditto."

Suddenly, loud blasts of music were coming from behind them.

"Crap! It's Alfred! Get out of here before he sees us!"

"Why?"

"Because he's probably with Arthur and that guy _always _has a spaz attack when he sees a fairy."

So they ran away just before Alfred, Arthur and Julius arrived. Alfred then turned off his iPod.

"_Must _you play that whenever we travel?"

"Heroes need theme songs!"

"... That is the _dumbest _excuse I've ever heard. _You _shouldn't be walking around with that bloody iPod at full blast."

Alfred's eyes started tearing up. "You don't think I'm a hero?"

Arthur blushed and suddenly felt guilty. "Uh... I mean, you're so a-awesome you don't need any."

"Aw~! Thanks Artie!" Alfred hugged his blushing fiance. "Huh? Who're the random dudes on the floor?"

"My Feli!" Julius said. "And my Lovi! And Ludwig! And Antonio? What are they doing here?"

"... Maybe the were taking a stroll 'round Central Park one last time before Lovino gets married."

"Like we were?"

"Yeah." Alfred looked at Arthur. "Can I wake them up?"

"I suppose-"

Alfred put his iPod on at full blast and held it up beside their ears. _PO-PO-PO-POKER FACE! PO-PO-POKER FACE!_

"OH GOD F_! WHAT THE HELL?" Lovino screamed.

"... I didn't mean wake them like _that, _luv..."

"Glad to see you're up, Sleeping-Beauties." Julius said with a smile. "So... how _did _you end up here?"

"I... I don't really know." Antonio stood up. "But I think, I was going to run away with Lovi so we could get married. Either that or I was dreaming. And let me tell you, it was one _hell _of a dream."

"Were you going to run away to somewhere nice?"

"Vegas."

"Nice."

"Nonno!" Lovino shouted.

"I'm sorry. _Really_ nice."

"Oh for crying out loud, Nonno! Act your f_ing age!"

"Sir," Ludwig stood up. "I've decided I won't marry Lovino."

"THANK GOD!"

"I'll marry Feliciano."

Everyone's eyes widened. "Ve? R-Really, Ludwig?"

"I have _no _idea what happened last night. But I do know one thing. I fell in love with you, Feli."

"Aw~!" Alfred squee'd. "It's a triple wedding! I'll go tell Toris to prepare more stuff!" The hero ran off, with his fiance chasing after him. And Julius went to get his camera.

The four very confused fiances looked at each other.

"Do _you _have any idea what happened last night?"

"Nope."

"Uh-uh."

"No clue."

"..."

Feliciano grabbed Ludwig's hand and dragged him. "Ve~! Come on! We're getting married! We gotta go make pasta and pick the dress and invite guests!"

"Feliciano, you are _not _wearing a dress!" his brother yelled.

"But Lovi~!" Antonio gave his tomato the puppy-face. "Will _you _at least wear a dress?"

Lovino blushed. "Fine..."

"YAY~!" The Spaniard picked his fiance up and ran off to pick the dress.

...

Then Francis finally woke up.

"Oh mon dieu... What did I _do _last night? I have such a headache and I can only remember... glasses and classical music... Wait, what's this?" Francis picked up a bird plushie on the ground with a note on it. "'Sorry for the rough night... From The Awesome Gilbert... With love...' Who the hell is Gilbert?"

**Me: Best I can do while scrambling.**

**America: (Runs in with background music) Review!  
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	5. Act V

_Final chappie of this parody/Shakespeare and Hetalia crossover on crack. It was fun (though I think none of us will ever be able to be involved in the production without giggling now. Especially those playing Puck.)_

_(Reads the script for the final act) ... I don't get it. You know what, screw the script. I'm improvising._

_I don't own Hetalia. Nor Midsummer Nights Dream._

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><p>"For the last bloody time, Alfred! I AM <em>NOT <em>THE BRIDE!"

"Then why did you agree to wear the dress?"

"Because you started crying! I'm _not _the bride. You're the groom and I'm simply... the other groom."

"In a dress."

"Quiet."

The other fiances arrived. Both the Italians in puffy white dresses.

"See, Alfred! I'm not the bride! Everyone else is in a dress!"

As they walked up to the alter, they noticed a brown-haired woman with fairy wings holding the book up. Arthur's eyes grew wide and he stared at Alfred.

"A-Alfred? I-Is that a _fairy _who's going to marry us?"

"Just for you, Artie."

Arthur smiled and glomped his fiance. "I LOVE YOU, YOU BLOODY GIT!"

Elizabeta internally squeed at the fact that she was at a yaoi wedding. So she read the vows until she reached "Do you; Alfred, Antonio, and Ludwig; take Arthur, Lovino, and Feliciano as your lawfully wedded ukes?"

Alfred grinned in a way that said 'I told you so.' And Arthur glared back in a way that said 'Git.'

"I do." everyone said.

"You may make the yaoi- I mean, kiss the bride."

They did both. And Elizabeta took pictures. Ah, how she loved weddings.

After about five minutes, Francis took the liberty to break them up. Which earned several death-glares. The strongest ones from Arthur and Elizabeta.

"May we _please_ get one with our little show?" Francis said.

"Fine."

So they performed the play (that I could make no sense of because I have no Shakespeare-to-English dictionary). To say the play was a disater would be an understatement. Natalia tried murdering Francis onstage 'because his suicide death didn't look real.' Matthew and Eduard got a little _too _into character and started arguing over why their 'son' turned out the way he did. And Raivis forgot his line.

By the end of the show half the audience was facepalming. The other half was laughing their asses off. So it was an epic fail.

Alfred wiped a tear from his eye. "Man, best comedy I ever saw!"

Ivan smiled. "Thank you, comrade."

Raivis looked up at Ivan. "But it wasn't supposed to be a come-" POW. Ivan elbowed him before he could finish.

So after a lot of partying, drinking, and an incident with the wedding cake that involved Ludwig tripping over Lovino's foot, everyone went to sleep.

"Lovi, where are we going to honeymoon?"

"...Rome." Lovino muttered.

"I say Madrid~!" Antonio sang.

"Rome."

"Madrid~."

"Rome!"

"Madrid~!"

"ROME, DAMMIT!"

"MADRID, LOVI~!" Antonio cheered. "Come on, Lovi! Madrid is nice!"

After all the humans left, the fairy continued the party for them. Mainly Gilbert getting wasted. And Elizabeta fangirling over her yaoi pictures.

"HAHAHA! MAN, THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!" Gilbert laughed.

Roderich glared at Gilbert. "That incident with me and the French piano was a _dream_. Understand me? A _dream._"

"Dude, I was talking about that awesome wedding."

Roderich blushed. "Oh. O-Of course."

The Hungarian fairy sighed. "May they have good luck, lots of love and-"

"-'lots of yaoi.'" Gilbert and Roderich finished for her.

"Yeah."

Roderich looked at Elizabeta. "Um... where's the boy?"

Elizabeta eyes widened a bit. "What boy?"

"Elizabeta!" Elizabeta ran away before Roderich could scold her. "Elizabeta!" And he chased after her.

Then Gilbert turned to the audience and winked. "Remember, Roddy only _thinks _it was a dream."

**Me: Time for the bows~!**

**Everyone: (Holds hands and bows) Review~!  
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